How to Improve Our Emotional Intelligence

Growing up we were taught that our IQ score would determine how intelligent we are. The higher the IQ the more successful we would be in life.

However, there is more to intelligence than the intellectual level. In fact, most successful leaders, such as billionaire Warren Buffet does not have a higher IQ than the rest of us. Instead he shows a tremendous amount of emotional intelligence.

Emotional intelligence, (EI) is the ability to control and express our emotions in a clear and well thought out manner, while also having the ability to recognize emotions in others.

Individuals who have high levels of emotional intelligence are good listeners who show empathy to others. They are a person that others seek out for support or advice due to their compassion and open mind. Due to having their emotions under control they are also adaptable to change and able to express themselves clearly.

Now, we may be asking, how do we improve our emotional intelligence?

The best method out there is to practice mindful meditation.

Mindful meditation is being aware and staying in the present moment. In other words, let go of the past and stop thinking about the future. Just simply enjoy and pay attention to this present moment we are in.

According to John Darwin from the Centre for Mindful Life Enhancement, “Regular practice of mindfulness meditation can enhance our ability to understand our own emotions” By calming the mind through meditation, our ability increases to recognize our own emotions.

As we begin to become aware of our emotions, we are able to recognize and control them under intense or upsetting situations. This allows us to think deeply upon our actions and words before subconsciously blurting them out.

This is one of the main reasons why highly emotional intelligent people are more successful in the workplace and build more meaningful and beneficial relationships with others.

The best part is that we can practice mindful mediation any time and any place.

Mindful meditation doesn’t require any special instructions.

Find a comfortable pose in a quiet space and choose any amount of time.

Relax the body, (including facial muscles) and close the eyes. It may be helpful to play calm music or concentrate on the breath, as a tool for staying in the present moment.

Think of daily mediation practice as important as preparing for a meeting or test.

This daily practice will lead to a higher level of emotional intelligence, which only increases our ability to find success and happiness in our lives.

Abandoning Perfectionism

Since the introduction of smart phones and social media the desire to be perfect has increased in our culture. While it’s a positive to set goals and aim high, it can turn negative if you begin to feel contradictory emotions while on the journey to achieve the end goal.

It boils down to adaptability and positive self-talk.

For example, if a non-perfectionist makes a mistake, they can feel let down but also recognize that mistakes are normal and are willing to use it as a learning tool. In other words, they do not self-depreciate themselves when a mistake is made.

On the other side, a perfectionist will feel like a failure and frustrated by a mistake. Or they may be so scared to actually make a mistake that don’t even take action. This causes this type of person to become vulnerable to mental conditions such as depression, anxiety, frustration and other negative disorders.

Signs of Perfectionist

  • Fearing you’ll be judged for imperfections
  • Unwilling to make mistakes
  • Social withdraw
  • Lack of self-care, due to overworking
  • Actions resulting in bad quality of life.

Treatments

  • Break big goals into smaller goals
  • Start with a small goal such as, organizing your closet. Instead of giving it 100% do it at about 80% and experiment with accepting it.
  • Be kind to yourself.
  • Seek professional help
Be kind to yourself

So remember, it’s not perfect to be perfect. We all make mistakes which are necessary for learning and growing. Life’s a journey and while you cannot control obstacles in your path you can choose how to handle them.

Do you want to handle your thoughts poorly or do want to handle them positively?